I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
