Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
