At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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