Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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