I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
