I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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