I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I don't think brook has ever known best
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
