Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
