I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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