exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
