why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
