Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
