Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
