That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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