Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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