Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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