As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
