all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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