nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I think people are normalizing furries
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
