Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
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