All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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