He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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