Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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