She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
