I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
