If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
