I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
