I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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