If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
