I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
