Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
