It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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