either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
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Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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