Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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