"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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