Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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