Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
