Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
