After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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