i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize
