I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
