love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
