You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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