I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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