dude i'm inner monologue high
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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