Sry I called you an 8
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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