Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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