Walk of Shame. In a state park.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
