you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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