Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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