theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Maybe he injected his testicle?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
