remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
two words...techno handjob
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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