Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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