I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
