When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize