Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
