That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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