we made out on top of his cat.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
