it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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